terms of service

these terms were updated on july nineteenth (19th), two thousand and sixteen years (2016)

1) after you buy your turtlecall you will be sent to a special page to fill out the information i need to make your turtlecall


you will also need your order number and yooh can find that in that same email

2) your regular ($2) turtlecall and/or your cheadlecall will be attempted within ten (10) business days of when you fill out the form (a business day is monday-friday)

2.5) your super ($10) turtlecall will be attempted within five (5) business days of when you fill out the form. if we do not reach them on the first (1st) try, the second (2nd) and (if necessary) third (3rd) tries will be tried within seven (7) business days after the first (1st) try. if we are unsuccessful on the third (3rd) try, we will leave a voicemail in our turtle voice

2.61) once your call experience is completed, yooh will receive an email from heather [at] turtlecalls.com within forty-eight (48) hours, and she will explain if it was successful, or not successful, or etc

3) i make regular turtlecalls monday-friday – weekend calls are possible if it is a twenty (20) dollar ultimate call, and if it fits into my important chores and social gatherings

4) there is no guarantee that your turtlecall will go online because sometimes a recipient is a boring person so much and who wants to hear that

here are some guidelines for what kind of people have been proven with science to be good people to do turtlecalls on

5) we do not send you the recording of your turtlecall unless it is the 10 (ten) dollar super turtlecall or the twenty (20) dollar ultimate turtlecall, then you get to have it and hold it, and it will be posted unedited on soundcloud.com for yooh

we do not always even record the two (2) dollar calls, so if yooh really want to hear it, think about your purchase habits pretty hard

6) if you try to buy a turtlecall for yourself that is bad so don’t do that to the turtlecall experience

7) turtlecalls are surprises so do not talk about your turtlecall for the person you buy it for until after they have their turtlecall

8) by buying a turtlecall you give turtlecalls the right to record your turtlecall and put it on the internet and also exploit it in other ways like maybe a hip hop remix or a ringtone

9) you also give turtlecalls the right to publish your call request description in a book or ebook format at some time in the future if we want

not your personal information so don’t worry about that

other things to think about

10) the two (2) dollar turtlecall is not always on sale because too many get sold to keep up with

i am a snob and will not hire another turtle so don’t ask that

11) if you have questions about the timing and completion of your potential turtlecall purchase please email heather [at] turtlecalls.com